My father is in what I think are the middle stages of dementia, sometimes you would think that he is perfectly normal then the next time you see him he may not know your name.  He still recognizes that you are a familiar face,  but isn’t exactly sure who you are.  He lived by himself up until about a month ago, when it became obvious that we as family could not care for him anymore; he was becoming resentful as the roles had reversed.  So we set out to determine care options.  Unfortunately we as a family hadn’t really discussed this with Dad prior to the progression of the disease. We had established power of attorneys when mom passed away several years back; however, as time changes so do roles of children.  My sister had since retired and started caring for dad, by taking him to doctor appointments, paying his bills, and administering his medicine.  Even though she was the oldest she did not have her name on his bank account or power of attorney.  Nor did she have the health care power of attorney.  So we take Dad to the attorney’s office to do the basic power of attorneys for financial and health care.  Dad immediately doesn’t trust us, thinks we are taking some of his rights away.  My brother and he get into an argument at the attorney’s office.  It was really ugly.  Dad’s will needs to be updated, but none of us have the macho to address it, and it would be questionable at this time if Dad is of sound mind.   Moral of the story, make sure you have the necessary legal paperwork done while minds are sane and emotions are calm.

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